Let me tell you (and show you) how well trained I am. I can go to the park with the girl to feed the ducks and I am completely whatever. Well, maybe not completely but seriously folks. I’m a Labrador retriever. I think my ancestors lived off ducks. Or brought them back to humans. Or something like that.

I care more about Cheerios than ducks. Wait. Maybe this isn’t something I should be bragging about? Maybe other dogs won’t think I’m a real dog? Maybe normal dogs will think I’ve lost my doggy edge? Maybe I don’t give a damn? Whatever. Think what they may, I would rather get Cheerios and a pat on the head from a human than a cold dead duck and wet fur. I’m just an evolved dog.

Evolution! Darwin! Duh!