DAD=Diabetic Alert Dog
CGM=Continue Glucose Monitor

So I’ve been reflecting lately on how good I am.  The mom and the dad used to try to use these things called sensors and CGMs, continuous glucose monitors, on the kid but I think they have given up….because I’m better!  Here’s my take on the situation:

10.  I don’t require batteries.  Dog food and cheerios are cheaper than batteries and we know how the mom and the dad are cheepies. Well, on some things.

9.  You can’t play with a CGM.  Well, I suppose if you were an engineer, or a nerd or something you could play with them.  But seriously, us DAD’s are more fun.  The girl did stick a CGM into a stuffed animal once, so technically I guess that’s playing but whatever, I’m still more fun.

8.  If the girl falls on a pile of rocks, I don’t stop working.  Yeah, can you believe that….CGMs just stop working all the time on the girl.  She is an active little toddler, hello.   Even if she bumps the CGM, it would stop working.  Or scare the crap out of the mom and the dad by saying she was 42 when she was really 182.  Come to think of it, that’s pretty funny to scare the mom and the dad.  I’ll scare them on other things though, that aren’t that important.  I’m not that mean.

7.  I help teach the girl how a low or a drop in blood glucose feels.  The CGMs can’t do that….at least for my girl.

6.  I do not give “Cal errors” or “Lost sensor” alarms.  Yeah yeah, sometime I miss an alert or something, but for the most part I’m pretty on my game.  Plus I don’t beep all the time.   That’s gotta be annoying.  Like It’s a Small World song annoying.

5. I don’t have to be changed every three to five days.  I’m hoping for 10+ years I’ll be around keeping the girl safe.  Whatever, I don’t like to think about that kind of thing.  I’ll be with her ALWAYS!

4. I am not jabbed into the girl with a needle.  Ouch.  That’s gotta hurt.  I just lick her occasionally.  And she seems to like that.

3.  I have soft black ears to pet.  I guess this is not really a valid reason, but it’s pretty awesome.  Have you felt my ears??

2.  I can smell a problem before the CGM knows there is an issue.  Let me get all techie on you folks now.  A CGM measures the glucose levels in the interstitial fluid….not in the blood.  So there is like a 20 minute delay in the reading from what the actual blood glucose is.  20 minutes for the girl can make a big difference.  I smell the changes in the blood glucose and everything and tell her in ADVANCE of an issue.  That’s impressive.

1.  DAD’s care.  We really do.  Just look at my eyes when I’m alerting.  I don’t want anything bad to happen to the girl.  A CGM is cold and heartless.

So yeah, I rock.  DAD’s rock.  CGMS are ok, but can’t do what we do.  We keep our type one diabetics safe……but also happy.