So at a charity silent auction the mom bid on two nights at some hotel in Coronado.  Some island just outside of San Diego.  A seven hour drive from the home.  A road trip!  Yeah.  Whatever.  So many miles in the car.  I wonder if this family offers a frequent traveller program were I can earn points for miles, and redeem them for steak?  Yeah.  I wish.  That’s not happening.

We checked into the hotel.  The hotel was just OK.  I’m used to Marriotts and pretty standard business hotels.  This place had a  lot of “personality”.    Meaning this was the reason the mom was able to buy the two nights at the silent auction pretty inexpensively.  But whatever, you already knew she was cheap.  What really annoyed me about this place was the woman who checked us in.  She was friendly and all.  And made it a point to tell the mom that she knew I was a service dog so she wouldn’t be charged the deposit.  I was thinking, oh, this is cool.  But then.  But then!  She said she had a service dog too.  I was like, ok.  That’s cool. I hope it’s a legit one. I had a bad feeling though.   Then she asked if the second floor hotel room was ok for me…because she knew her dog didn’t like stairs or elevators.  That’s when I thought the mom was going to lose it.  She should have lost it!  I would have lost it!  We all knew the woman had a fake service dog if it couldn’t handle the stairs for gods sake.  And you all know how I feel about fake service dogs!  UGH.    The mom kept her cool and just grimaced as we finished the check in process.  She mumbled something about not wanting the crazy woman to mess with us while we stayed there.  

Anyways. So the mom has a friend who lives in San Diego.  And this woman rocks.  She LOVES me.  Well, I think she loves all dogs.  But she especially loves me.   We met her for dinner, and she brought the girl a gift.  But more importantly she brought me a gift!  Except the girl took it.  GRRR……  All I want is a nice soft toy to destroy.  Sigh….someday.  A toy and a steak.

The next morning we had a nice breakfast and went exploring.  The girl really likes fountains.  I do too.  As long as I’m safely away from the water.    I could have stayed here all day.  I wish I could have stayed here all day.  

Here’s me and my family.  Yes, I’m in there too.  Just look hard.
I like my family.  Just don’t tell them.  

The mom thought it would be nice to walk to the beach.  The mom thought she knew her way around.  She didn’t.  We walked for a long time before we reached this place called dog beach.  I did not like the sound of that.  At all.  And you’ll see why….

So sure enough we ended up at this dog beach.  Where dogs can run like maniacs and frolic in the water.  Um….yeah, normal dogs.  I am a dog.  I am a labrador.  Who does not like the beach.  Don’t judge.  Seriously.  

I’ve got more important things to do.  Like alerting that the girl was too high.  See, I have a good reason.  

Go ahead girl, play all you want.  I’ll just stand here and observe.

REVERSE!  QUICK!  Bet you didn’t think I could move that fast, huh?  Those things like waves and rising tides are pretty tricky….but no match for me.

Thank god the mom’s friend showed up.  Yeah, you go ahead and play with the girl in the cold water.  Have fun with that.  I’ll be right on the beach.  Chilling.  Warm.  Comfortable.  Thank you.  I’ll be here ready to alert when the girl’s BG is out of whack.

Speaking of out of whack….I had to alert the dad again.  The girl was dropping too much prior to lunch, and we can’t have that happen.  You know how Miss Manners felt about testing blood glucose on an airplane.  I wonder what she would say about this?  On a public beach.  In broad daylight!   Bite me Miss Manners.  If the girl needs her BG attended to, she’s going to get her BG attended to.  

After we left dog beach (finally, thank God) we walked along the human beach back to some HUGE hotel.  These signs are pretty interesting.  And I understand why they have them.  Non-service dogs shouldn’t be on a human beach.  Most don’t know how to hold “it”…and most don’t know how to behave correctly.  One of the lifeguards on duty  drove up to the mom and the dad to make sure I was legit.  I should be offended that he asked had to ask, but I know he’s just doing his job.  I forgive him.   And good for him for making sure the beach was free of non-service dogs. 

We made it to the huge, red roofed hotel, had some lunch, and then went exploring.  I was ready for a nap personally, but the girl was all fired up to walk around more.  Some woman who worked at the hotel saw us and said we HAD to go visit the hotel’s candy shop.  I was like, um.  Dear god no.  Please don’t tell my T1D five year old there is a candy shop we HAVE to go to.  I need some rest.  Now and later.  Which if she has a bunch of candy god knows that won’t happen.  But the woman insisted….so off we went.  And whoa is all I have to say.   Well, not all, you know.  Whatever.  I like to express myself.

I am soooooo much better looking than that fake dog.  Seriously.  I wonder if I put in an application they would hire me.  I could sell more candy for them. Whatever.  How ironic that would be to have a diabetic alert dog as the mascot for a candy shop.  Talk about job security!  Here, eat this candy, it’s delicious.  Hey, you’re having a high BG, reward me.  That sounds pretty sweet!  (har har har)  But we all know I love my current job.  

BTW, sugar free candy often has just as many carbohydrates as the real deal. So for a T1D this is kind of a joke by itself.    The girl asked for one lollipop, that happened to have a small stuffed black lab on it.  She took three licks, said it was bad, and then played with the little black lab the rest of the afternoon.  Yeah, she’s smart.  She was being nice to me by not eating any of that super BG spiking sugar stick.  Whatever.  I could have dealt with it.  

Speaking of sweet…look how sweet the girl is.  We were having a tender moment.  And then I had to alert her.  That her BG was too high after lunch.  (She hadn’t had her nap…or the candy yet)  I hate to ruin moments like these, but duty calls.  

The girl loves me.  Too much. 

If I were to run for office, this would be my campaign photo.  “Darwin the DAD needs your vote.  I stand for safety, responsibility, and no new taxes!”  

Enough pictures already.  I’m done.  

After returning to the hotel for a power nap by the girl and yours truly, we met the mom’s friend for dinner at some crazy place called the Corvette Diner.  The host tried to seat us in the dark section, away from everyone else.  But did the mom let that happen?  Of course not.  She didn’t make a big deal out of it,  but yeah.  It was just kinda awkward.  For a minute.  And then we were fine.  Well, everyone else was fine.  I was like, maybe the dark area away from everyone else would be pretty sweet! 

Not only is this place super loud, with the waitresses dancing around, they do crazy things to people’s hair.   THANK GOD my fur isn’t long enough for this junk.  Because you and I both know the girl would have INSISTED that this be done to me too.  No thank you.  

So the mom and the dad and the friend decided they couldn’t take any more loud music so we all loaded into the car and headed to a place called extraordinary desserts.  Um.  I’m not sure how I felt about going to a place with desserts in the name.  Just means I’m going to have to be on my game.  And sure enough.  The dinner alone was starting to cause a problem.  

The girl was all excited.  But I could just think….do they have any steak cake?  

Nope.  No steak here.  Just BG destroying chocolate.  I shouldn’t be so harsh.  Chocolate isn’t evil.  It’s the sugar they put with it.  And the fat.  And the combination that makes it so difficult to bolus for.  Sigh…..  In this case though the girl didn’t even get any additional insulin.  The mom and the dad had bolused too much at dinner so the girl was dropping too fast and need additional carbs.  So after my completely aggressive alert and my refusal to sit down under the table for a while to get their attention…… I got my  cheerios.  And the girl got a few bites out of this chocolate cake.  Um.  I think she got the better end of the deal.  

So even though they took me to the beach,  it was a pretty nice trip.  The mom’s friend should come visit me sometime.  I would even share my bed.  And I think she would be ok with that.

I hope my crazy family doesn’t go anywhere anytime soon.  I’m ready to chill.  At home.  Whatever.  That won’t happen.  And I’ll still deal with it.  And excel.