So the day at Disneyland was quite an adventure. And quite the blood glucose roller coaster for the girl. (har har har, I’m too funny) But I was on the job so she stayed between 70 and 205 the whole day. Even with her first taste of cotton candy and running around for 8 hours. That is a feat that deserves a steak, right? Whatever. I will not give up hope. Someday they will come to their senses that it’s ok to give me steak.
Anyways, immediately when we got to California Adventure I alerted ON the carousel that the girl was too high…just slightly out of range….but still, out of range enough to get me some Cheerios. Score. I was underwhelmed by the carousel. I mean, it just went around in circles. Maybe next time I should ride one of the animals? Or better yet maybe the grandpa can just stay with me. Yeah. That’s better. I’m not a ride kind of dog. My life is excitement enough. I mean, just look at this amazing alerting!
So after a few more rides and just an hour later the girls BG was dropping. And dropping fast. So I gave a paw to the grandpa. Sure enough she had just dropped below 100. Score. More Cheerios. And the girl got a glucose tab. Double score! She looked like she needed one for sure. I was kinda worried though, so I kept by her side until she came back into good range and wasn’t dropping. Well, that and she had my food bowl. No food though. 😦
She and the dad and the grandma decided to go on a scary roller coaster. (it must have been scary because when the went on the first time the mom screamed the entire way…I could hear her….she’s nuts) The grandpa and the mom and I found a good place to chill. And chill I did.
I was just fine relaxing until the girl and the dad and the grandma whirled by me! I could smell the girl was in danger so I threw another paw to the mom so she could get the meter ready for as soon as the girl came back to see us. Sure enough the girl had dropped a couple points more. Even with a glucose tab! More Cheerios for me and more glucose tabs for the girl. SCORE!
The grandpa seemed surprised at how good I was doing. Whatever. I am good. He should know that by know. He should take lessons from me on how to handle crowds. He’s not very good at it. Me on the other hand, the more people the more “whatever” I am.
So crisis averted. At least for a while. At least for another 45 minutes. At least until lunch. Then I really got to show them how good I am. You see, sometimes the mom and dad don’t listen very well so I have to misbehave to get them to realize there is an issue with the girls BG. I had to do this at lunch in the most obnoxious way possible. I’m pretty proud of this.
The girl sat down for lunch and I smelled she was just out of range so I alerted the mom. Sure enough she had dropped just below 80. The mom gave the girl half a banana to eat while they waited for lunch to arrive. Under normal circumstances, (is there such a thing with type one diabetes?) the half banana would have brought the girls BG way up. The parents assumed that but I knew differently. I could smell she was still dropping. I pawed again. They assumed she had gone really high. Not so! The parents just keep patting my head saying “good boy” in a really condescending way but they weren’t doing anything for the girl so I knew I had to do something drastic. Something obnoxious. Something awesome. When the mom told me to settle down under the table I stood my ground and refused to move. Like totally froze.
Now some think disobedience is a sign of a bad dog. In this case I was taught to do this by some really great people. I think they called it learned disobedience. It’s the last resort to get the people to react. Whatever. If humans weren’t so dumb I wouldn’t have to act like that. So yeah. I refused to cooperate and FINALLY the mom caught on that there was a problem. They checked the girls BG again and sure enough she had dropped again, just slightly, but still! Pfew. The mom was going to bolus her for lunch without checking again but thank god for me she knew not to bolus for all the carbs. The kid owes me. The mom and the dad owe me. It’s my job, and I love it. Whatever. Just don’t tell them! Please.
Anyways, after lunch we went to the Disneyland side of the park. I thought, well, its going to be awesome. Um….not. The girl and the dad went on some ride where they flew in plastic elephants. What the heck is that about. The girl wanted me to go on the ride but the mom intervened (thank god) and said no. They had a plastic elephant on the side so we went in there after the girl got off the real ride. She thought I loved Dumbo. Wrong. I just have always want to go to Africa and ride an elephant. I figure this is as close as I’ll ever get. Well, this family is crazy….maybe they will take me there someday. **As a side note, teenage boys are the worst. One of these horrible creatures decided to ruffle my fur and pet me as he walked past us the opposite way. He didn’t upset me as much as he did the mom. Man she’s super uptight. She stared the boy’s dad down and wagged her finger at him. He looked scared. He should be. I have noticed that if anyone messes with the girl or me the mom goes all crazy protective. Good for her. We should be protected. We are awesome.
So later in the afternoon the mom thought for some reason that we should all go on some ride called “It’s a Small World”. She even thought I would like it. Ummm. Wrong. By the time we waited in line and heard that mind numbing music over and over I had decided I wanted nothing to do with this small world they speak of. So when it came time to board these little unstable boats I was ready. You know how I mentioned learned disobedience earlier…..yeah well this was just disobedience. And I’m ok with it. I refused to go in the boat. Flat out refused. The dad tried to force me but the mom didn’t want to force it. Said something about she didn’t want to have to chase me through the water and the ride if I freaked out inside. Um. I would have done that just to torture these people for taking me on the ride with that god forsaken music.
So anyways. The dad and the girl went on the ride and the mom waited with me. Just how it should have been from the beginning. FYI I still can’t get that damn song out of my head. The people who work there must be either deaf or psychotic. I’m guessing the latter.
OOOHHH, I need to share with you that the grandma got in trouble!!! The grandma got busted! And I’m telling on her to the whole world. She was hanging with me while the girl the mom and the dad went on some ride that had a really long wait just to ride in a car. As if. They have three cars already, why wait to ride in someone else’s car? Ugh I just don’t understand them sometimes. Well. Ever really.
As we were waiting a lady came up and started petting me. Instead of the grandma telling the woman I was working and to stop petting me she just talked to her! The grandma can talk. A lot. And to anyone. She started a conversation with anyone who was around longer than 30 seconds! She needs to learn from me how to be “whatever”. Then people leave you alone. Unless of course you’re a handsome furry black dog. Sigh… it’s hard being so beautiful. And fuzzy. And Smart.
Anyways, back to telling on the grandma. Well apparently the woman who was petting me knew that the grandma wasn’t the handler because she told her “I knew he wasn’t yours because you shouldn’t be letting me pet him!” It turns out she had been in the police department and had worked with police dogs for a long time. Hahaha. Busted!Another woman the grandma talked to during the day gave me a really big compliment. Well, really my trainers. Well, really me when it comes down to it, right? She said that I was obviously a real service dog because I was so well behaved. I guess she had seen another dog earlier that had a vest but the dog was pulling the owner around and jumping on people. This makes me so mad. Fake service dogs should be extricated to a place far far away. Actually, no. The humans who create these fake service dogs should be extricated. Or worse. It’s not the dog’s fault, it’s the stupid humans. More on this subject later…in another post. It’s rather close to my heart. They are fakers…I don’t like fakers. I am NOT whatever about this subject.
Anyways…..let me calm down……
Ok, so the girl wanted a snack in the afternoon. The mom and the dad were like ok. The girl said she wanted cotton candy. I was like NO! The mom and the dad were like ok. Ack. These people are insane I think. The mom said something to the dad about she would rather have her try the stuff while they are around rather than alone or at a friends house. (Isn’t that what people say about having their kids try alcohol?!?!?) Don’t they know that stuff is like crack to a type one diabetic? Sky high BG then a rapid drop. I mean, it’s nothing more than sugar. Whatever. The girl got her huge blob of pink cotton candy. She was in range but I still alerted the mom and dad.Alerted them to the fact that they are insane! They bolused the girl for the pink blob of BG destroying snack and the girl started to eat. She took like three bites and then just started playing with it. Yeah! The girl is smart! She knows it is crap food! Wait. No. Now she had had too much insulin for the carbs she consumed. Crap. Luckily the parents had brought a bag of nuts with them. The girl chowed down and I relaxed a bit. Thank god for carbs with some protein and fat. I’m starting to realize that the girl is smart. Maybe even as smart as I am. Whatever. That’s not possible.
BEST. PART. OF. DISNEY. I found the souvenir I want. The Christmas gift I want. Heck, just get me one and I’ll be happy. Adult sized chew toys. These things rocked. These things squeaked. These things played with me. OMG. I am not into consumerism….but BUY ME ONE BUY ME ONE BUY ME ONE! Seriously.
Ok, so back on the job………
The last blood glucose checks of the day…and the last glucose tabs in the tube to fight off another impending low. Yeah, of course I alerted on it. In fact I alerted from a distance. A far distance with a bunch of people around. The girl and the grandma and the mom were in a gift shop (and no they didn’t buy me the life size chew toy!) and I was outside with the dad and the grandpa. Chilling. Until I smelled the girl again going low. I pawed the dad, who called the mom on the phone inside the store, who checked the girl’s BG, and sure enough. 84! Out of range. So I got cheerios and the girl got a glucose tab. Then when the ladies returned the dad checked again….for the last time while at Disneyland, and sure enough she was 80. Damn I’m good at keeping the girl safe. And what other dog could alert so well and from so far away that the “good boys” come in via the cell phone??!? Whatever, of course I’m that good. Shout out to Carol and Mo and all of EAC for making me such an awesome alerter. (and an awesome Dog. They knew how to bring out my best qualities…there are so many)
I hope the girl doesn’t want to come back to Disney for a long time. This dog can’t take the mouse ears. The mom and the dad keep talking about another adventure next week. Oh boy. Whatever an aquarium is, it has to be better than Disneyland.
PS: They gave me a “First Visit” badge. I tried to get the mom to get me the “Last Visit” badge but I guess they don’t make one. Whatever. It’s all talk. I’m sure I’ll be back…and I’m sure I’ll still be watching out after the girl. I love her. She loves me. Whatever. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.
6 thoughts on “Disneyland.”
This story should be in a book.
Thanks. I have been told I am a storybook dog.